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how to get it together ?!?!?!?!

so basically i’m in grade 11 and I’ve always been a pretty good student and my average for the past 2 years was probably around a 96 and academically I was thriving but this year I faced a few setbacks but i’m really working on it and I upped my studying and productivity and work ethic and I have a 90 in all my classes (chem, physics, accounting, french). I know this isn’t bad and that the semester is still going and I can go up but im disspointed in myself because I dropped significantly and I made so many dumb mistakes on my last chem test that it dropped 7%. I know the solution is to just work harder but i’m stuck in this rut where I cant get out of my own head which is full of fear or failure and just do it. I was wondering if anyone had struggled with something similar in the past and how you overcame it, because it’s frustrating that I keep working harder and my grades don’t reflect that leading my parents and myself to doubt how hard i’m actually working

3 Answers

  1. Uh, maybe because hard work isn’t the only variable at play when it comes to determining your grades? You do realize that things like IQ as well as the instructor’s teaching style, etc. come into play, and some of these things you can’t even change. Just do your best and live with the result that you get. Not everyone can get 99 in every course, that’s just life.

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  2. If you’re stressing this hard over a 90 average in high school, I can only imagine what you will go through in university when like most students your average drops 15-25%.

    High school marks are irrelevant for the most part. I know people with 90s who dropped out of university or became C average students, and I know people with 70s and 80s that are lawyers and doctors now. I know a surgeon who had a mid-80 average in high school.

    You are placing way too much importance on high school grades here. I can’t think of a single program in Canada that requires high 90s. You can get into most undergrad programs with 70s and low-mid 80s. The most competitive programs want low-mid 90s usually but these are very few.

    I suggest doing research on admissions requirements for the programs/schools you are interested in. Simple google research goes a long way. Start with this – I can tell you that high school is completely irrelevant once you step foot into post-secondary. It’s like Gr.8 in that sense. Does anyone ask you what your Gr.8 average was or how many subject awards you received now that you are in high school? Does anyone care?

    Gr.9 and 10 are also a joke in comparison to 11 and 12. The difficulty generally ramps up for everyone in Gr.11. You stressing over non-issues is going to negatively impact you in the future. This is what leads many students to burnout and suffer from mental health, depression, and suicidal tendencies in university. Do not become that person.

    Most people’s parents are out of touch with current realities, because they did not go to school or build a career in the 2000s. They know very little about education, careers, and admissions requirements as it pertains to the modern era. Immigrant parents especially are going to whine about a lot of things they know nothing about. For example, engineering is a top-tier profession in India. However, in Canada, most engineers make 40-60k on average, the job market is saturated, and many engineers are unemployed/underemployed. It is recommended nowadays that most people not go into engineering, unless it is something like nanotechnology, software, computer, etc. as it pertains to tech. But will your parents know this? Probably not.

    I suggest figuring out what you want to do as a career, then figure out which program will lead you there. That is a better use of your time. When I was your age, I decided I wanted to be a lawyer and was doing hours upon hours of research into law school admissions. Not even undergrad admissions. I knew where or what I did my undergrad degree in was completely irrelevant to law school admissions. I was researching the different law schools and speaking to recruiters as if I was going to law school next year. This is where my mind was in a different place than most other high schoolers. I even did some practice LSATs.

    I’ll tell you my own career path. I was failing sciences in Gr.11. Rather than wallowing in self-pity, and ignoring my parents who started to see me as a failure, I refocused my goals and figured out where I wanted my path to go. I dropped all sciences in Gr.12. Against my parent’s wishes, I went to a top-tier business school for undergrad paying out of my own pocket and taking out student loans, then I got my law degree from a school in Toronto. I’m now in my mid-20s and a lawyer with the federal government.

    My advice to you is to decide for yourself what you want to do. Most of these people from high school you will never talk to again once you go to uni. Your parents will not pay your bills and get you a job (in most cases unless you come from wealth). Get over your self-pity and insecurities and figure out where you want your life to go. I probably had a lower average than you in high school and I’m a lawyer. If I crashed and burned like you are doing now, I never would have motivated myself to make it this far.

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  3. Lastly, you cannot see the forest for the trees. What matters more here – That you actually get into your desired university program, medical school, become an engineer, etc., or the fact that you lost 7% on some high school chemistry test? I know a law professor who failed law school in his first year. He now teaches the law to students at U of T’s law school. Focus on the end goal.

    Your parents? Who cares. Seriously. Live your life unless they’re buying you a mansion and passing their wealth onto you.

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